When you live in the truth, you will live an overflowing life. You should “Repent”, get “Baptised” and should receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Holy Spirit will help you and be with you forever, so do not grieve the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is not a visitor/guest in your life, but He permanently lives in you.
Holy Spirit is a helper but He will not help unless you seek His help. Holy Spirit helps to live a righteous life.
Without the Holy Spirit, you cannot understand the bible. Jesus and the Holy Spirit should be real to you before He can be real through you.